Not The Critic Who Counts

Imagine this…

I am walking my two dogs Seattle and Coco (unleashed) with my baby attached to me via the babybjorn carrier.  As I loop around from walking in the open fields towards the park, I try to get them to come to me so I can put them on the leash.  Obviously, they do not want to be leashed even if I have cheese treats to tempt them in my direction.  Seattle ignores me and continues to run away, but Coco is treat-hungry so I manage to snap him on the leash (yet he manages to run off with leash attached).  The little rascal slipped right through my fingers, and he ran away with gusto like a freed criminal.

To make matters worse, an older woman is watching all this with her dog placed in the back of her car (and hands on her hip) standing by the driver's side door.  She waits patiently as I approach running after my dogs who see another dog while having my baby squirming and crying in the carrier.  It's obvious she wants to have a conversation with me in the midst of my chaos and stress.  She says, "Is it difficult to try to wrangle two dogs and a baby?"

I could hardly believe the question.  She wasn't laughing.  It was a matter of a fact question.  I responded, "Yes, it is" (in the same manner), and remained silent.  She, still doing nothing to help me, says, "The police car just went by and you can get a large fine if the dogs run into the park".  I respond, "My dogs tend not to run into the park, but every time I take them off the leash I recognize the risk."  She agrees that the dogs need the exercise that being off the leash affords them.  I agree that my dogs are not as obedient as they need to be.  We end the conversation while I am trying to leash Seattle and grab Coco before they jump into her car to try to smell her dog.  We say kind words in closure to our conversation and go our separate ways.

Two things came to my mind…

1.)  This verse:

"Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?  In the same way, faith by itself if it in not accompanied by action is dead."  James 2:15-17

Had the woman tried to assist me in wrangling my dogs, I would have known she was truly interested in helping me.  Instead she was being critical without seeking to understand or assist me in anyway. 

2.)  This quote:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

The critics I have encountered are always eager and willing to offer their advice and opinions about how I should be living my life and how they think I am falling short, but they are rarely willing to give me physical, financial or emotional support.  Advice that is helpful comes from friends and family willing to sacrifice at great measures to contribute to your well-being and growth.  They are not standing on the sidelines, while you sweat it out, criticizing you.  They have skin in the game.  They are first to celebrate your small victories, and lend a hand when things get tough.  They are quick to show grace instead of finding fault.  They want to be your friend which means they don't carry a superior attitude.  

This day I managed to wrangle the dogs, a crying baby, and have a polite conversation with a critic!  Speaking of small victories...