Freedom from Shame

There was once a woman in my life whom I loved very much that held her head low in shame.  She was a beautiful person, generous and eager to serve others especially children yet she lived in shame.  She felt ashamed for poor choices from her past, and felt ashamed of her lack of education.  She grew up poor without the privilege of education, therefore, she had broken English and speech difficulties.  She couldn't make eye contact while speaking to people given her inferiority complex.  She physically held her head low in shame.

Shame is a back breaker. 

Recently a friend confided in feeling shame for a disturbing thought.  She felt too ashamed to even pray about the re-occuring thought.  This is the problem with shame, it keeps people in the dark and holds them there in isolation.  Shame is a form of bondage.

I go back to the Garden.  The Garden of Eden in which Adam and Eve lived unashamed with each other in perfect togetherness and love.  

"Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." Genesis 2:25

You know how the story unfolds, Eve disobeys God while Adam passively follows and joins her, and next they hide from God.  God calls for them, and they become afraid and hid.  Notice fear kept Adam and Eve in the dark, isolated from God.  How often do hide from God, or hide our truest self from others?

God began a conversation with Adam in which he asked them if they disobeyed, giving them an opportunity to come clean.  

Here's Adam's response:

"The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."  Genesis 3:12

Eve's response:

"The snake deceived me, and I ate." Genesis 3:13

Notice Adam not only seems to blame Eve, but also blames God (this woman you put here with me).  Eve blames the serpent.  Notice a theme?  Neither wanted to admit or accept  responsibility for disobeying God. Next, God explains the consequences of their sins and then God does something beautiful.  He begins his work of redemption in man.

"The Lord made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them."  Genesis 3:21

God provides a covering for their shame so they can have communion with God and with each other.  This provision form God covers our shame, guilt and gives us freedom from fear.  Ultimately, this is what Jesus came to do - to be the punishment for our sin covering us so that we can have complete purity before God.

Now when I have a sinful thought or habit, I take it to God.  I ask for his help to conquer the sin.  I don't want it to cause further damage in my spiritual and relational health.  Essentially, I get naked with God.  I allow my truest self (no matter how shameful I may feel) to be seen before God.  Then, again I plead for His help and intervention.

Now, here are a few other things I do:

1.) Claim my identity in Christ.  This means I agree with God in how he sees me (regardless of feelings).  I may feel fear or shame, but the truth is I am pure and blameless before God because Christ dwells in me providing my covering (complete forgiveness and purity).  It is crucial that you understand your identity in Christ through knowing His word.  This is your source of freedom.  

Watch this video on what it means to claim your Identity in Christ.  It's a good one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsDQEb-qlyM

2.) Admit that I am powerless to prove anything to God or conquer the sin on my own, so I focus on His power.  

"We are more than conquerers through him who loved us" Romans 8:37

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20

3.)  Meditate on his Word.  I submit to God's Word and to Christian community so I can hear from God and obey him as he leads me away from sin and into greater freedom.   

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house and it fell with a great crash."  Matthew 7:24-27

Now, when shame comes to me, I treat it like the "check engine light" in my car.  This is especially true in marriage.  I will have no shame in my marriage.  I want our relationship to be one of honesty and nakedness, where we can come clean with God and with each other.  Only then can we experience true intimacy and trust.  

I love this story and song from Sara Groves on discovering confession and cleansing in God and in marriage...

"it's a sweet, sweet thing
standing here with you and nothing to hide
light shining down to our very insides
sharing our secrets, bearing our souls,
helping each other come clean"

I will end on a high note:

"I sought the Lord and he answered me,

he delivered me from all my fears,

Those who look to him are radiant,

their faces are never covered with shame."

-Psalm 34:4-5